Chapter Text
~Henry's House~
Some heroes don't wear capes and that was true for Miss Danger. She didn't agree with them, thinking they were too much of a liability in the field since a bad guy could grab them and pull you around like a dog on a leash. But even when (y/n) wasn't in uniform, she still put aside her work for the day and ran halfway across town for a friend in need, namely Henry. The poor kid had called her a few days prior to say that he wouldn't be able to come into work 'cause he had some lousy cold and whilst that meant she and her grumpy boyfriend would have more fighting to do themselves, she was adamant that he stay home and rest.
She remembered the days of being susceptible to colds, back before she had been fried in the densitiser and turned into a super-healing, ass-kicking machine, and knew all too well about how lousy sickness made you feel. Therefore, when she'd received a cry-for-help phone call from Henry, begging that she come over and see if he was taking his temperature correctly, she hadn't given it a moment's notice, not even when Ray started complaining.
Ever since he'd secretly bought the ring, he'd been dying to find the right moment to propose, one where it was calm, romantic, sweet and not too rushed, but if she was at Henry's house the entire time, how was he meant to do that? She couldn't help it though, whilst the Man Cave was lovely and being apart from him sucked, her caregiver's heart was just screaming to be at Henry's bedside, nursing him through whatever bug was ailing him. And the best part was, she couldn't get sick, not even a little bit, so she really was the perfect nurse, checking up on him every day when his parents weren't there to see how he was doing. Jasper, on the other hand, wasn't.
(y/n) had insisted that she didn't need an assistant in helping Henry get better, saying that she'd taken care of her cousins when she was younger and knew everything about combatting colds, from making soup to tucking people in, she was good at it. But the curly-haired boy had asserted himself, countering her argument by telling her how in his hour of need, Henry should have his best bud whipping up a cure-all for him. He even offered a nasal thermometer, whatever the hell that was, and had shoved it up the kid's nose before he or the young woman could protest. She had much better ways of taking his temperature but whatever.
"Hey, Jasper..." Henry groaned, feeling like complete crap and the small nozzle of the thermometer tickling the sensitive membrane in his nose wasn't helping. He was glad that he cared and appreciated the gesture of him skipping work (with (y/n)'s permission, of course) just to look after him, but to be perfectly honest, he...didn't want his help. It sounded really mean and ungrateful and he never wanted to make Jasper feel bad, however, his help wasn't helpful. At least, not as helpful as (y/n)'s; she knew about first-aid and science and how the body heals, all that sh*t, so she was actually making him better or at least she was making the pain bearable.
"Yeah, whatcha need?" Jasper asked, looking up from whatever blending, squashing, juicing he was doing so he could look at his pasty friend. He certainly looked like crap, which was why he was mixing up something that would wash away all of his problems, maybe.
"Will you please come take this thermometer out of my nose-hole?" The kid asked in a rough, dull tone, so unlike his usually chirpy self. It was like his energy was being sucked away, probably to fight the goddamn cold that was crippling him. Man, he just wanted to be healthy again.
"Okay, let's check that temperature." The boy smiled and stopped what he was doing so he could walk over to his friend's bedside and finally remove the irritating device, just as (y/n) walked back into Henry's room with a glass of water in her hand.
"Here's your water—oh, thank god, you're taking that thing out." She commented as she circled the bed to put the glass down on the bedside table, close enough for Henry to reach it, but also out of harm's way since it would be horrible for him to have to clean up a puddle after she'd left.
"Thanks, (y/n/n). Well?" Henry looked from the kind woman to his friend, who was still squinting at the thermometer after yanking it from his nostril. If he waited any longer, the reading would be wrong.
"Hmmm. I think it needs to go in deeper." Jasper confessed, thinking that the numbers on his thermometer weren't matching up with Henry's blazingly hot forehead. Perhaps they'd not shoved it in right, yeah that was it.
"What?!" Henry exclaimed, not liking the sound of that. It had already been too deep for his liking, why did it have to go in again? Wasn't there a better way to do this?
"You probably took too long taking the reading. If you leave it out in the air for too long, the heat sensors begin to measure the room temperature, not the body's temperature." (y/n) explained, pulling Henry's quilts and extra blankets further up his body since they'd began to slip ever since he'd sat up to receive Jasper's wondrous miracle cure. She didn't want him to get a chill, even if she was appearing like a bit of a mother hen.
"Well, I've never used a nasal thermometer before." Jasper protested, even though the girl wasn't blaming him in any way. She saw how much he cared and even if his methods weren't...practical, she still thought he was a lovely kid for helping it. If only Ray saw it that way.
"Well, maybe you should learn how to use a nasal thermometer before you stick them in your friends' noses," Henry told him in an agitated voice. It wasn't like him to get moody, it was the illness speaking and the banging in his head making him snap, so the two trying to help him didn't take it to heart.
"All right, grumpy-pants. We'll just try it again, so, hold still." (y/n) said in her motherly voice and took the thermometer from Jasper's hands so she could insert it herself this time. She tried to be as gentle as possible, not even giving the sticky snot on the device a second thought since she'd dealt with a lot worse before. She could just wash her hands, it was fine.
"Ow! Go back home to Ray, stop torturing me!" Henry whined as the same nostril was assaulted again. Not even the world's gentlest touch could make the experience pleasant, but he didn't mean what he'd said.
He wanted to be taken care of, he wanted to get better, even if he was taking up more of (y/n)'s time that she would usually give to Ray. He wasn't happy, he knew that. He was missing work and stealing away his would-be fiancée when he wanted to pop the all-important question. It had been a month since they'd been on Swellview's Got Talent and everyone but the girl knew about what was in the works, they were just waiting on him to get the guts and pick the right moment. It was agonising.
"Don't be such a baby. I'll go back to my boyfriend when I'm satisfied that you've been properly taken care of." (y/n) answered, wiggling the thermometer up past the upper lateral cartilage and just into the bone where it would be warmer. Her heart tingled at the thought of the man waiting for her back home and couldn't help but let a soft smile slip onto her face, letting the boys know exactly what she was thinking about. Yeah, she'd say yes, she'd marry him tomorrow wearing her jeans and t-shirt if he asked her to; she was as in love as he was.
"What are you making anyway?" Henry asked his best friend, who'd sloped back to his little table with a smirk on his face at the excitement at being in a big secret.
Ray wasn't sure about letting Jasper the Blabbermouth know about his plans to ask the love of his life to marry him, fearing that he'd spoil the surprise and then he'd be left to stammer an excuse to his girl about why he hadn't just grown a pair and manned up. But he'd found out anyway (Schwoz was a terrible gossip when excited) and vowed to be silent on the matter, knowing his friends, not to mention himself, would never forgive him if the worst happened.
"Oh, a cure for your cold," Jasper answered, pressing the juice out of some squishy fruit and his words made (y/n) pause. He did science in school, right?
"Uh, Jasp, you can't cure a cold. Or, they haven't found one yet." She told him, sitting on the end of Henry's end as she waited for the thermometer to do its thing. If Schwoz couldn't work it out and trust me, he had been there, attempted that, then Jasper had no hope, no matter how much crap he turned into liquid.
"You can with the liquid cleanse I'm making," Jasper told them, smiling proudly at how big his genius was. Seriously, sometimes he baffled himself with how amazing some of his ideas were.
"What's in it?" Henry asked from a mix of curiosity, fear and disgust. From what they could tell from the bed, the cleanse was brown and Jasper had been crushing things up for over an hour, so who knows what was in there. Plus, the boy was worried about what he was going to do with it and there was no way (y/n) was gonna let him ingest it. She didn't want a case of poisoning on her hands.
"A combination of orange juice, nut milk, fish oil, frankincense, tomato purée, myrrh, bee pollen and liquid lard." The boy listed, making their smiles drop the further he went on. Where had he found that? It sounded horrific and Henry was certain that his queasy stomach would never recover from the smell of it, let alone the taste.
"Wow...I am not drinking that." He muttered, snuggling down into his blankets slightly as if he was trying to hide away from the concoction. Y'know, witches were burnt at the stake for mixing these kinds of sh*t potions and now he knew why - they probably poisoned the entire, f*cking village.
"Drink it? Why would you drink it?" Jasper scoffed, making Henry and (y/n) share a confused look. He was blending it all into a smoothie consistency, what else would they do with it?
"You said it was a cleanse. People normally drink cleanses, not that I'm letting him drink that sh*t." (y/n) explained, thinking back to all the fad diets Ray had tried to stay in shape or just to stay trendy. He always had those spinach, proactive, enzyme, shake, cleanse things that all the socialites swear by, even though the majority of them deserved to be thrown down a toilet.
"Yeah, but you don't swallow it. I use this to bathe him." Jasper replied, making his friend even paler and sweatier than he already was. He was already sick, he didn't want to be even more miserable, not to mention that being given a sludge bath by his friend would be downright weird. "Nope."
"Come on, like (y/n) said. Don't be a baby. Don't you wanna feel better?" The curly-haired boy asked in a tender voice as he brought a sample of his miracle juice over, forcing Henry out of bed as he refused to be subjected to a cold, slimy, embarrassing bath. To hell if (y/n) would kill him for walking around and wasting what little energy he had, he just had to get away.
"No, I like being sick, bye!" He said quickly, tugging his blankets away from his body and swinging his aching legs onto the floor. He felt the cold immediately, wishing he could snuggle right back into his mattress, but just one look at the brown stuff in the jug was enough to make up his mind and move his feet.
"Hey! Get back into bed! I won't let him give you a bath, it's ok—" (y/n) tried to tell him, instantly following him over to the other side of the room in the hopes that she could tempt him back to where he could rest, but one look at Jasper holding a sponge had his feet frozen like they were in concrete. That, and his whiz watch started flashing.
This had been a regular thing over the last few days; Ray had been missing his sidekick and was a stickler for perfect attendance from his employees, so when Henry informed him that he had to take a few days off for his health, he wasn't happy at all. And as such, the man-child had insisted that he holo-call the boy every day and see what he was up to that was so important, he just had to drag his sweet girl to his sickbed to care for him. The jealousy was a real thing.
"Ooh, sorry, but I gotta take this, soooo..." Henry told Jasper, who sighed and put down his sponge, seeing that Ray took precedent since he was the boss and everything. With the prospect of unwanted bathing treatment out of the way, Henry flicked open his watch and held his wrist far out in front of him so the tiny, little holo-Ray could see him and (y/n), who wasn't scared to get close to his plague-riddled body.
"Hey, Ray!" Henry greeted him, trying to not seem as ill and as icky as he felt since he didn't want to appear weak, but he still looked like sh*t either way, not that Ray was buying his "I'm having time off work, 'cause I'm sick" act.
"Hey, handsome." (y/n) grinned, her mood lifting as his figure appeared in the room. Despite it not being her real boyfriend, one whom she could feel or touch or love properly, it was still nice to see him after leaving their home so early that morning because, honestly, she'd missed him. It had been three days of caring for Henry and whilst she didn't regret doing that, she'd be branded a liar if she said she hadn't missed spending all her time cuddling, kissing or being silly with him.
"Hey, Henry. Hey, sweet girl." God, his voice. His f*cking voice. It sounded pissed off, miffed, sulky because both of his sidekicks weren't by his side, but it was so nice to hear, even though the static garble of the whiz watch. It reminded her how Henry would be well again in a couple of days and she could go back to her normal routine, the one where she got to have him clinging to her twenty-four-seven.
"How you doin'?" The boy asked, rubbing his sniffly, itchy nose on the back of his sleeve as he tried to keep everything in; he didn't want his nose to run, he didn't want to puke, he didn't want to collapse from exhaustion. Not that Ray was bothered.
"Hungry! Handsome and hungry." Ray answered, making sure to send a smirk down the link since he knew that it would make his girl giggle and roll her eyes, which it did. He knew her too well and had missed seeing her reactions to his bigheaded comments or his bulging muscles, he just wanted her home. The Man Cave didn't feel like it without her.
"Hey, Henry! Hi, (y/n)!" Charlotte's head poked into the hologram and she waved at the boy and woman, who were always glad to see her. She had taken on the main voice of reason in the Man Cave since (y/n) wasn't there, so both of them had sympathy for her since she had to reign in Ray's childishness and stop his ridiculous plans without any help.
"Oh, Char, you're already at work," Henry mentioned, not unhappy to see his friend there, just surprised that she'd gotten in so early. Geez, way to make him look bad, even though he had a valid excuse and the boss's girlfriend to support his side.
"Yes, she is and we want breakfast and I want my girlfriend back. So, on your way to work, you and (y/n) stop off at Casa de Waffles. Pick up nine waffles, a dozen fat biscuits, some, uhhhh..." Ray started listing everything he wanted for breakfast and chose his girlfriend's favourite waffle place since he couldn't wait to see her smile and feed her bits syrupy waffle like the lovestruck idiots they were.
"Fresh fruit," Charlotte added in, wanting something healthy and light instead of a massive waffle or a biscuit. She wasn't as much of a junk food addict as Ray was and he definitely didn't see why she'd wanted something so blergh for breakfast.
"Pffft, fresh fruit. I'm Charlotte and I want fresh fruit!" He mocked her in a silly voice, making the young girl look at him with an uncaring face. She was used to him being a child and just let his comments wash over her because she always had (y/n) on hand to scold him for being so mean.
"Raymond! Henry can't come to work today, he's still sick. So, I won't be home until later 'cause I'm still looking after him." The young woman explained in a sharp, authoritative tone, making him stop all the joking around.
Later? He didn't want later, he wanted her in his arms now so they could eat breakfast together. It had been days of her waking up at the crack of dawn so she could walk to the kid's house, meaning he'd been waking up alone (no chance for some early-morning action) and eating alone (being with Schwoz or Charlotte didn't count). It sucked and ever since he'd decided to make her his forever, he'd been needier than ever, so this whole situation was torturous.
"Oh? It's been three days. You wanna maybe see a doctor? Ray asked Henry, thinking that once you've reached the three-day mark, you should seek some professional help, not the kind-hearted generosity of his girlfriend. He was beginning to suffer too.
"Ehhh, I mean, it's just a cold, but I still feel pretty bad and (y/n) says I've got a fever so I should—" Henry told him. If he fought criminals in this state, he just knew he'd been walking into a disaster, being more like a punching bag than a sidekick and as per the young woman's advice, it was better to rest up until he felt better than to try and be noble.
"Kid, I totally get it. Just stay home, rest, let my girlfriend take care of you." Ray answered in a seemingly nice manner, although if you looked into his words deeper, you would be able to pick up on how salty he was inside. He hadn't been sick with a cold since he was a child and barely knew what illness felt like, so he didn't totally get it. He just got a stabbing twang of jealousy and loneliness when he thought about his girlfriend being anywhere but with him. He missed her.
"Aw, doofus, you're so cute. You sure you don't mind me staying here to make sure Henry's okay?" How could he be mad though when she was so obliviously sweet about it? He wanted to let her go out and share her sweetness, he wanted her to put her phenomenal nursing skills to work, even if it was just for a little while, but she was so gorgeous. He couldn't help but want her all to himself, he didn't know what to do without her.
"Yeah, he's all yours, sweet girl." He told her, not letting her see how desperate he was, but that didn't mean he wasn't suspicious. He just wanted her to think that everything was okay so she didn't see how he wasn't believing Henry's sickness story. He saw through his lies.
"I'll be home later, 'kay? I love you." She smiled, sending her warmest love to him through her gaze as he studied Henry's little hologram self. He didn't look that sick, just under the weather. Sick, his butt.
"Love you too." His heart melted at that, unable to truly hold onto the grudge when it could hold onto her love instead. It still felt crazy that he got to hear that every day and made the idea of the ring even more clear. It was right, f*cking terrifying, but right.
"Later, man." Henry grinned at their mushiness, knowing how Ray was probably reeling from the knowledge of the ring box he kept hidden somewhere in the Man Cave. He wouldn't tell them where it was but swore that (y/n) would never find it so they settled for that, trusting that he knew what he was doing and in such a sweet moment, neither the woman nor Henry suspected Ray's frustration.
"Yeah, okay." And with that, the guy was gone, left pining for his girl and seething at his sidekick for making up some stupid cold so he could stay off work. He saw through it and was convinced there was some conspiracy that went beyond the thick blankets and ingredients for soup (y/n) had taken with her.
"Right, back into bed, you. I'll bring you some soup later, okay?" (y/n) told Henry once the call was finished and he diligently did as she said. Bed sounded quite nice right now and he trusted that she wouldn't let Jasper sponge him down. Rest, that's what he needed, just a bit of sleep...
~Meanwhile, in the Man Cave~
"That rotten, little mutt!" Ray snapped as he turned away from the computer with a scowl. He could let his anger out now and picked up a water bottle so he could sling it across the room in frustration. The only problem was that Schwoz was working on some technical wizardry in the middle of the room and when the water bottle hit him, it damn near killed him.
"Ray!" Charlotte protested, standing up to look at Schwoz's quivering, little body in horror. She knew he was mad about (y/n) not being around, she knew he was frustrated by not having a chance to propose over the past few weeks, but seriously? Why the aggression?
"What?" He asked in an annoyed tone, not liking her scolding tone. It was like what his girl used when she wasn't happy with him, only it wasn't the same and just left a poignant reminder that she was at stupid Henry's house.
"You could've killed Schwoz!" The girl told him, gesturing to the genius on the floor and how he was there because of how reckless he had been. Okay, that made him feel a little bit bad, he never meant to take his emotions out on his friends, especially the ones that had done nothing wrong.
"Oh, sorry, Schwoz. I didn't mean to hit you with that bottle." Ray apologised, feeling like it was the right thing to do. (y/n) would've made him say sorry, she was so nice and sweet and kind like that. sh*t, he missed her so much.
"Well, you did." Schwoz groaned, reaching to grab Ray's hand so he could pull himself up but the hero just kept on walking. He wasn't that sorry and Schwoz wasn't that injured. Probably.
"I just I'm so angry at Henry for lying to me and stealing my girlfriend," Ray grumbled, leaving Schwoz to fall flat on his face. Okay, he was making it out to be a lot worse than it seemed. Henry hadn't stolen (y/n), she was a person, not a priceless diamond, and it wasn't like he was trying to steal her affections for himself, that would be weird. Very weird. No, he was certain that he just wanted someone to wait on him, bring him drinks and food, tuck him in when he couldn't be bothered to do it himself and (y/n) was too kindhearted to see past his ploy.
"Wait a second, you think Henry's lying to you about being sick? And that he wants to get (y/n) away from the Man Cave even though he knows you're gonna propose?" Charlotte gawped at him, not believing he was serious. Of all the stupid, weird, over-the-top, mad sh*t he'd thought of over the years, this was the strangest and most ridiculous. Henry would never do that to Ray, he was like a brother to him; he'd never lie and he'd never deliberately come between him and his girlfriend.
"I know he's lying! And I know that he wants (y/n) to take care of him whilst he's doing the lying!" Ray nodded, causing the girl to gasp at what he was insinuating. Maybe she should call (y/n) and tell her that there was another baby who needed her care, 'cause this was just...wrong.
"Ray Manchester! How could you say that about Henry?" Charlotte scolded him in her best (y/n) voice, hoping it carried more weight when she said it like that. Where had all the trust gone?
"Oh, okay, so you think he's telling the truth and he's not making (y/n) bring him soup and blankets just because he likes it?" Ray questioned with the lilt of sarcasm in his voice, looking at the girl and her folded arms. He wasn't surprised that she didn't like his ideas, she never did, only this time he was sure that he was in the right. I mean, who has three days off with a cold?
"I do," Charlotte replied firmly. She knew that Henry really was sick and that the phone call he'd made to (y/n) begging for her magic, healing touch was genuine. He'd needed help, so she went to his side, was that really worth such a big fuss? She came back in the evenings, he was just really needy of a proposal opportunity.
"Well, I think he's lying. So, we're gonna find out." Ray hissed to her, using his status as the boss to get what he wanted and Charlotte didn't like the sound of that. How was he planning on doing the finding-outing? Would it involve methods she didn't approve of? "Wait a second..."
"Schwoz!" Ray looked at the terrified man, who had had more than enough of beatings for one day. He didn't want to get hurt, he just wanted to do his work in peace. "Please, don't hurt me anymore."
"No, I have an assignment for you. I want you to get yourself a disguise." Ray told him, which evaporated Schwoz's fear and filled his eyes with wonder. He loved disguises, especially if it was for a covert mission, it made him feel like a spy. "Okay, I will get a disguise."
"Yeah and then I want you to sneak into Henry's house, install some hidden cameras and microphones so we can spy on him and see what he's making (y/n) do." The larger man elaborated, sending thrills of excitement into Schwoz's body as he thought about the mission. Okay, yeah, it was gonna be weird, but also strangely cool to stake out the house.
"We're gonna spy on Henry and (y/n)?" Schwoz grinned, causing Ray to hold up one finger. They weren't spying on (y/n) per se, he already knew that she'd never lie to him and was over there for what she thought was a good cause. It was Henry whom he was truly interested in.
"No, no, just Henry. We're just gonna make sure that he's not ordering (y/n) around too much." He corrected, knowing that if his girlfriend found out, she'd kill him, or worse, break up with him. He just wanted to see what his sneaky sidekick was up to, he wasn't particularly bothered about her, apart from the fact that he missed seeing her smile around the Man Cave.
"No! I will not let you "spchy" on him and you know that (y/n) wouldn't approve either." Charlotte jumped in, using the young woman's name again since at this point it was the only thing she could use against him, not that it worked.
"Oh, Charlotte's saying no again." Ray mocked her, thinking that all she ever did was criticise him. Yeah, his sweet girl would be dead set against it, but what she didn't know wouldn't upset her, right?
"It's an invasion of Henry's privacy and it's wrong. You should just focus on proposing to your girlfriend." She went on, this time making the man shut up for a minute as he thought of a comeback. He already had all that stuff figured out, well, most of it, he was just waiting.
"Hey, you better not run to the tubes so you can run and tell Henry that we're gonna spy on him," Ray suggested, knowing that if he mentioned it, then she'd do it and then she'd fall right into his trap. He didn't want any interference, he just wanted to prove himself right.
Ray pretended to stop her as she made a run for it, sprinting up to the tube pad so she could escape. The man made some half-assed shouts for her to come back, acting as though this wasn't his plan all along and watched as Charlotte lowered the tube and smirked at him.
"Ha! Up the tube!" Charlotte shouted, expecting that she'd go flying off, but just before the computer could register her command, Ray changed the settings so that the tube was locked and she was trapped. "Tube transport, locked."
"Locked?!" The girl gasped, looking around as she wondered what had happened, but Ray wasn't done yet. He. had to make sure she couldn't go anywhere, even if it was a. bit mean.
"And switching to manual control..." He mumbled, pressing a few buttons on the control panel so only he could activate the tube suckage. It was a system designed to trap criminals and bad guys that had managed to sneak into the Man Cave, not for Charlottes, but in this case, it worked for him.
"Hey! Hey! Why didn't I go up the tube?" Charlotte asked the men, who were mildly amused at how angry she seemed. Oh, they were smart, well, they still thought Henry was lying and that wasn't smart at all, but for being so crafty, they were slightly smart. Just a smidge.
"'Cause I switched it off," Ray told her through the microphone and smiled at how pissed off she became. Now she realised why he'd suggested it and cursed herself for falling for something so dumb, especially when he started taunting her. "Off?"
"Yeah. You can jump but you won't go far." He joked, really testing her patience. How long did he expect her to be in this thing? It was cramped and they still hadn't had breakfast, surely, he wasn't that cruel.
"Okay, you better not keep me trapped in this tube!" She warned him. When she got out, she was gonna break his legs, not sure how she was gonna do that, but she was anyway.
"Okay. Up the tube...and other tube down...and Charlotte." He smirked, deciding to get co*cky since his first plan had worked so well. He fiddled about with the controls, sending the girl up, only to bring her straight back down in the opposite tube, which made her blink in surprise as she ended up right where she was before. "There! Now, you're in a different tube."
"Oh, Ray, you're so incorrigible." Schwoz grinned, making his friend laugh since it sounded like a good thing and judging by Schwoz's happy face, he too had no problems trapping Charlotte behind glass.
"I don't know what that means," Ray confessed once his laughter had ended and Charlotte rolled her eyes. He could figure it out himself, she was done trying to be the mature one and hoped to god that Henry got better and (y/n) returned home soon, because, otherwise, Ray's head would be on a platter.
~
"Right, you get some sleep, I'm off to make soup. I'll be back up in an hour or two to see if you feel any better, 'kay?" (y/n) smiled gently at Henry as he snuggled deeper into his blankets, feeling better for having her there. He'd have to get her a massive gift basket or something 'cause she really had gone above and beyond to make him feel better, even when his dad and Piper told her not to bother. Mrs Hart was concerned about her son, of course, but just left her to do the nursing as she had no clue what to do and even told her to help herself to anything in the house if it helped.
"Yeah, thanks, (y/n/n)," Henry mumbled, already feeling his exhaustion pulling him under and even if he wanted to, he wouldn't be able to open his eyes again. He looked so cute all wrapped up in bed, even if his forehead was sticky and his eyebags were shocking, he looked smaller, if that was possible, vulnerable perhaps. Sort of like the kid she had first met three years ago, who knew nothing about fighting or the true villainry in the world.
"No problem, kid. Just shout if you need anything." She whispered and gently closed his bedroom door behind her as she walked down the hall.
Whilst she had been attending to her patient, Schwoz had been on manoeuvres and had infiltrated the house, planting some device in the kitchen sink that made Piper and her dad freak out when sparks started flying all over their kitchen.
A very clever ploy that got even cleverer when he appeared at the door dressed as a very familiar Italian plumber, saying that he miraculously knew about their problem and had come to fix it. The Harts were certainly in need of help and practically pulled him inside before their house was on fire, allowing Schwoz to place a sneaky camera near the kitchen that would allow Ray to monitor the living room and kitchen.
With Piper and Mr Hart still blinded by their terror, Schwoz easily made up some bullsh*t excuse about needing to go to the attic to plug the sink problem, something Mr Hart couldn't understand but then again, he wasn't a plumber, so he just went along with it anyway. It was like some Mission Impossible sh*t, Schwoz was rolling and diving, sneaking about with his back to walls and it was a good thing too; he was about to round the corner onto the hall where the bedrooms were but pulled himself back at the last minute when he heard a certain someone hum a familiar tune.
Oh, god, it was (y/n) and for a moment, Schwoz panicked at the thought of her seeing him because that would blow the whole plan open and Ray would kill him, but he needn't worry. There was an extremely handy pot plant in the hall that gave him enough cover to duck behind and luckily, the woman had her nose too deep in her phone to see the shocking red of his costume stand out against the green of the fanned-out leaves.
She walked straight past, not even sensing his presence as she scrolled through some online recipes for brown soup, a renowned medicine for those with coughs and sniffles. Schwoz could jump for joy, but stayed silent, letting her walk down the stairs and into the chaos that would keep her busy whilst he was sorting out the camera in Henry's room.
"Holy sh*t, what happened?!" (y/n) exclaimed as she appeared at the top of the stairs, ready to ask Mr Hart if she could use his kitchen, but what she was met with was alarming, to say the least. Sparks everywhere, Piper and her dad trying to fan them away with a red towel, screams and panicked shouts, what the f*ck?
"I don't know, the plumber said he'd fix it!" Mr Hart exclaimed as she ran over and examined the situation. Okay, she had no idea what was going on, sinks don't catch fire unless they have some electrical components and from a few metres away, it was impossible to see the small device causing the problem.
"What plumber?!" The young woman screamed, trying to stop Piper from flapping at the sparks since they posed a serious risk. They could actually start a fire if they spread onto something else, but she didn't know what to do without getting closer. Was this a fire extinguisher problem? And who was this plumber? She hadn't seen anyone or heard them, she had wanted to do was make soup.
~In Henry's room~
Okay, Henry was dead to the world, whether it was from his supposed sickness or (y/n)'s awesome care, he didn't wake up as Schwoz crept into his room and dug around in his toolbox for some cameras, which he started to place strategically place around the room. He only needed a few and quickly made for the window, hoping he'd be able to sneak out without anyone noticing, but that was wishful thinking.
The genius stumbled as he crept past the couch, making an awful rattling noise in his toolbox that roused the boy from his sleep and Ray, who had been testing out his new toys, saw the whole bloody thing.
"Wha--Schwoz? Is that you?" Henry asked groggily, thinking he was hallucinating as he saw what he thought was his friend, wearing a Mario costume, standing in his bedroom, hugging a toolbox. What fever dream was this? This couldn't be real, his sickness must have been messing up his mind, 'cause this was just insane.
"No. I'm...just a dream. Yes...a dream about a nice Italian plumber, so you go back to sleep and you just wait for (y/n)'s souuu---arghhhh!" The small man said in a soothing voice, although he should've worried less about Henry and more about where he was walking. He hadn't realised that he was creeping towards the window and when his heel nudged the windowsill, he tripped and fell all the way to the ground. To make things even weirder, he just laughed off his pain, prompting Henry to flop his head back down so he could snap out of this crazy dream. It had to be a dream, no way had just happened.
~A few hours later~
So, some good was coming out of this whole hidden camera business, well, there was for Ray and Schwoz, who had discovered that there was never a dull moment in the Hart household. Ray had dreamily watched his girl making soup after she had dealt with the sink issue (something that was strange, but she just put it down to kids since she had no idea what her boyfriend was plotting), and wished that she was at home making it for him. Stupid Henry eating her soup, Anyway, things brightened up when he flicked on the cameras again in the living and saw that Mr Hart and Piper were arguing about her dad wearing her new, flashing pants. Yeah, they didn't get it either, but still, it was hilarious to see his dad dancing.
"They have no idea that we're watching and laughing!" Ray giggled with Schwoz as they watched the father cower before his daughter as he fumbled for an excuse. They wouldn't want to be in his position, Piper was hella scary when enraged.
"Sorry, privacy, you've been invaded!" Schwoz joked, making his boss laugh as they both nibbled on some snacks. Henry had been asleep all afternoon, so this was the best thing they had watched, or rather, this was the best thing Schwoz had watched. He didn't find watching (y/n) cooking particularly interesting, to be honest. And things were about to get interesting; the elevator dinged and out stepped Jasper, who was completely unaware of what was going on at work since he'd been with Henry too, not that Ray missed him as he did with his sweet girl.
"Hey, guys!" He greeted, wondering what they were laughing about and he had yet to see that Charlotte was still trapped in her tube. At least she had been fed a burrito enorme, even if it had landed on her head when Ray sent it up the other tube. What a jerk, she couldn't wait to snitch to her friend about how mental her boyfriend was when he went more than five hours without her.
"Hey, other kid."
"Hey, Curly." Ray and Schwoz replied half-heartedly, one being slightly nice than the other as Schwoz used (y/n)'s nickname for the boy just out of instinct. He normally heard her say it, so it must've just rubbed off on him, which was rather nice.
"Jasper! Get me out of this tube!" Charlotte cried, thankful that, at last, someone other than those two dickhe*ds had arrived at work and could actually free her from his glass, cylindrical prison. Seriously, her legs were starting to cramp up and the air was getting close, not to mention she was going to tell Henry and then beat Ray's ass. She had a lot to do, she just needed to get out.
"Why is she in the—?" The boy asked his boss rather than heeding her order straight away. He had firsthand experience of pissing Ray off and knew it was safer to ask rather than do. It would save him a lot of embarrassment later.
"Oh... uh, we're just playing a game." Ray lied, acting as though Charlotte was loving it and Schwoz agreed. He was enjoying this way too much to let the girl be a spoilsport, and he also didn't want to ace Ray's wrath. The man had been partially (y/n)-less for three days now, he was like a grouchy dragon.
"It's not a game!" Charlotte argued, praying to god that Jasper would believe her and not those two idiots, but they weren't about to let her wiggle out of it and after months of him working in Junk-N-Stuff, Ray and Schwoz had learned just how gullible Jasper could be.
"That's part of the game." The superhero clarified for the boy, who just went with it since he was the boss and he was the one who paid him. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, his little motto for when he was tiptoeing around Ray and his temper.
"Okay, well, it's past nine and I've just locked up Junk-N-Stuff, so I'm gonna head on home...whoa. Is that—-is that Henry's room?" Jasper told the man but trailed off when he saw the familiar decor of his best friend's bedroom and then (y/n) popping into the shot as she carefully brought in a tray of piping hot, brown soup, one of her finest batches if she did say so herself. Henry had been asleep all afternoon and she figured that he'd be hungry, so she'd figured that they'd test the waters and see if he could keep some nourishment down.
"Yep," Ray answered, his eyes softening as he saw her smile, but then he remembered why he was doing this and he toughened up again. She'd be home in a few hours, then he could cuddle with her all her wanted, just like they normally did, although she'd probably be tired after a full day of nursing stupid Henry.
"But how are you seeing video—?" Jasper tried to ask, but Ray wasn't a big fan of his questions, not when he was trying to concentrate anyway. He shushed the boy and carefully angled the camera so he could see what was happening more clearly. Oh, yeah, like that was soup, that kid had just made (y/n) lie to his parents so they'd think he was sick too. That sh*t was obviously chilli or something, not what he pretended it was and he couldn't believe that he'd dragged his sweet girl into such a filthy lie or that she was going along with it.
"There it is. You see Henry there? He's not sick." Ray scoffed, really zooming in on the boy's face as he gratefully accepted the steaming bowl from (y/n) and carefully blew on his first spoonful to cool it down before he swallowed. The woman made herself useful by sanitising a few surfaces, picking up some blankets that had fallen on the floor and just generally chatting with the boy to see how he was doing. The sight was nauseating.
"How do you know?" Schwoz wondered. All he saw was a kid eating soup made by the woman taking care of him. That seemed like something sick people did, whatever Ray found so heinous, he couldn't see it.
"Look at him! Sitting there in bed, eating a big, steaming bowl of chilli." The man hissed. This was a case of the more you think it, the more you come to believe it and at this point, Ray was certain that his sidekick was chowing down on the worst thing you can eat on a queasy stomach, thus making him a liar, liar, pants on fire.
"Uhhh, that looks like (y/n)'s brown soup to me," Charlotte commented and even from the other side of the room with her eyes squinted, she knew her friend's cooking when she saw it. It was damn good soup and it was clear that Ray's anger was running away with his sanity, not that he saw it that way. She was wrong, he was right.
"You're too far away to tell. No, look at it, all dark and thick with chunks. I know chilli when I see it." He argued, thumping his chest as he swore that if anyone could identify (y/n)'s soup, it would be him. He wanted to marry the girl, for god's sake, he knew her better than anyone, or he did when he was thinking straight.
"I think he is eating (y/n)'s brown soup," Jasper stated as he looked closer at the screen and honestly, there wasn't any arguing with that. He knew the woman too and had eaten too many bowls of chilli in his life to know when he was looking at one and that bowl wasn't no chilli. It was soup, plain and simple.
"No. No, it's not my (y/n)'s soup. Geez, Jasper, you can't tell the difference between brown soup and chilli? You're not allowed to look at my monitors." Ray replied petulantly, once again falling into his childish side that was normally controlled by his girlfriend, especially when he was picking on Curly, but without her, it was left to Charlotte to point it out, not that he cared.
"Oh, Ray...now you're just being a child and I'll tell you something else. Henry and (y/n) are your sidekicks and she's your girlfriend. They're both very responsible and (y/n) would never let him—" She started to lecture him, using her most authoritative tone, but there was another beautiful feature to the manual tube control that would let Ray sulk in peace.
"Mute the tube." He instructed Schwoz, who nodded since he wanted some quiet time too and twizzled a nob on the computer's control panel that cut out all noise coming from Charlotte. She was essentially scolding herself now and only realised when she heard her voice echoing off the glass. Well, her situation was getting better and better.
"Nice. Now, back to Kid Faker or Henry Hartless 'cause he steals girlfriends!" With the peace resumed, the agitated hero focused on the camera feed again, hoping to catch something incriminating, but all he could see was the two chatting, nothing he could use as evidence.
"Ray, listen. Henry and I have been close friends, like, forever." Jasper piped up, suddenly feeling the urge to defend his best friend. He didn't like all this finger-pointing and he'd sworn to always have Henry's back, even if it meant crossing his grumpy boss.
"Ughhhh, get to the point, boy." Ray groaned, not wanting to more boring, pointless speeches from teenagers. He was a grown man in his own home and if he wanted to spy on his sidekick and possibly his hopefully soon-to-be fiancée then he damn well would.
"I just think if he were faking it being sick, he would've told me. And (y/n) would've spotted it straight away and talked some sense into him." The curly-haired boy told him, trusting in their strong bond and how if they had a secret, then they'd tell each other. Plus, (y/n) wasn't one for liars, not when they were doing it for a selfish cause and she'd have hauled Henry's ass to the Man Cave herself if she had thought he was truly ill.
"Yeah...guys do tell their best buddies everything. Their thoughts, their secrets..." Ray pondered the idea, stroking his chin as he stood up and contemplated an idea. Back when (y/n) was his best friend minus the girlfriend thing, he'd spill the beans to her every day, never missing anything and the way she listened to every little detail, even the stuff about his ex-girlfriends that he now knew broke her heart, made him thank whoever sent her to be his angel. But now, he still told her everything, of course, he did, but he wasn't sure if someone else qualified to be his new best friend, 'cause he had her as his lover, which was like a BFF only so much better.
"That's true. Like that time you told me you went to Martha's Vineyard with (y/n) and you f—" Schwoz said absentmindedly, not realising that the gossip had been uttered to him in the expectation that it would be treated the utmost confidentiality. No one needed to know what the couple had gone up to on that trip and if the woman found out that Schwoz knew, she'd never be able to look him in the eye again.
"Don't talk about it, Schwoz! God, (y/n) will kill me!" Ray snapped, causing the genius to button his lip before he went too far. Oh well, he could keep the secret for a bit longer. "Jasper, I'm gonna need you to go shave your chest."
"My chest? Why?" The boy questioned. It had to be one of the weirdest requests he'd ever received, but it would all make sense in a moment because Ray had formed quite a cunning plan.
"You're gonna wear a wire." He told him, sending the teen into a fit of excitement. Okay, Spy Jasper was ready to go, he'd seen all the James Bond movies, he knew how this sh*t worked and boy was he up for it. Sure, it was morally dubious but fun. "A wire?!"
"Yeah, Schwoz is gonna tape a secret microphone to your chest and you're gonna meet Henry at the Parkway Diner, where I'll be hiding nearby—" Ray explained his idea, drawing more and more enthusiasm from the kid. Normally, he hated it when Jasper got excited, he had too much energy for him and not the kind he liked, but on this occasion, he was critical to the plan, so needs must. "Oooh, and then what?"
"You're gonna ask Henry about this sickness and I bet you that he admits he's faking and using (y/n) for her exception soup-making skills." He finished, his arm around the boy as Schwoz smirked. It was crafty and a bit excessive, but it would probably work. No one would suspect Jasper of being a sneak, he just had one of those faces that people spill their entire life stories to.
"So, I get to be like—like a spy?" Jasper squealed, ruining Ray's patience which had been surfing okay up until now. It's fine, he could handle this.
"Sure, we'll call you...Double O...zero." He told him in a flat tone, not really caring since it didn't matter either way. Jasper was not the next James Bond, nor was this gonna be. A regular thing. He was just the safest option since Charlotte was a rat and Schwoz was just too weird.
"Yes! It's all happening..." Jasper whispered as his dream became a reality and the three listening just rolled their eyes. At least he was compliant though, with Jasper on board, Operation Kid Faker was a go.
~Fifteen minutes later~
Having accepted that Ray wouldn't listen to her no matter what she said, Charlotte had decided to use her time in the tube wisely and whilst Jasper was getting all technical, she just stuck her nose in a book. Sure, it wasn't the most exciting read ever, but anything was better than listening to Schwoz prepare Jasper whilst Ray put on his disguise. It was one of his stupidest getups, something that would probably make his girlfriend laugh out loud if she saw him; he'd slicked back those chocolate brown locks, put on some squeaky, leather pants and shrugged on a matching jacket in an attempt to look like the kind of cool cat that frequented a diner. But, he just looked a bit silly, like he was a really sh*t Elvis impersonator of something, which wasn't the look he was going for.
"There. Now, this is your microphone, right here next to your noople." Schwoz told the boy has he taped one of those itty bitty mics onto his chest, next to his nipple, not that the guy could say that word.
"Right. Let's go bust a faker." Ray said cooly, complete it his ensemble but putting on a pair of purely black shades, adding to his ridiculous vibe. Yeah, he didn't look like himself, but that was because he looked like an idiot.
"Okay, now will you let me outta here?" Charlotte snapped at the boys, hoping that she could go to the bathroom and stretch her legs. The book was boring and she was dying to tell Henry or (y/n) or someone what had been going on, but Ray saw right through her innocent face.
"No, you could still warn Henry or (y/n), so you gotta stay in there until we prove he's faking." He replied, shuddering at the thought of his girl hearing about this. Firstly, he was sure Henry was lying, and that would break her heart. Secondly, she wouldn't approve of his wild ways to catch him out, leaving her to shout at him and him nursing a wounded heart.
"And what if I need to use the restroom?" The girl asked. She'd been behind glass all afternoon and when you gotta go, you gotta go, so what did he expect her to do? Just go without any shame?
"I already thought of that." Ray reminded her, gesturing to the glass jar that he had sent down for her earlier, something that was as disgusting as it was degrading. The space was so tight, what if it spilt? What if someone walked in? The glass was see-through!
"I am not using this jar!" She hissed, picking the pot up so she could wave it around angrily. Even the nerve of this guy, he was cruising for a bruising.
"Good news for the jar." Ray scoffed, making his fellow fakery discoverers snort with laughter. Honestly, they were all children, but Charlotte did have one trick left up her sleeve. Something a bit cruel, but hey, she'd been trapped all day. She was desperate to pee and to let Henry know what was about to happen. "Let's go... Oh, uh, Schwoz. Three things."
"Yes?" Schwoz smiled at his boss as he turned around at the last minute, just before he was about to go into the elevator. He would be left to guard the Man Cave, be commander of the helm, not that it was ever that exciting.
"Don't let Charlotte out of the tube 'til after we get back," Ray instructed him as he walked backwards, Jasper opening the elevator so they could get off to the diner before Henry got there. They didn't want him suspecting anything.
"Aye and what are numbers two and three?" The genius craned his neck so he could watch Ray in all his leathery glory before the door slid shut.
"If (y/n) comes back early, tell her I love her and...don't eat any worms." Ray sighed, making one helper groan and the other two grimace. Okay, first off, awwww, he was cute, soppy, but cute. Second, what the hell, Schwoz ate worms? He was more of a freak than they realised and had often been caught sucking the worms up like spaghetti by the couple when they were just going about their business. He had a problem.
"Aw, but..." The genius pouted, having been hoping that with Charlotte locked up and Ray gone, he'd be free to scoff his favourite snack. The problem was though, that they stunk the whole place up, sort of like a musty, earthy, salty smell that linger on any cloth it touched, so everyone always knew when he'd been snacking and it made (y/n) gag. Therefore, Ray was adamant to welcome her home into a calm, worm-free environment so Schwoz had to behave.
"No buts, no worms." The superhero repeated firmly, pressing the button to go up as the little man rolled his eyes. He'd eat worms if he wanted to. He lived in the Man Cave too, he had rights.
"Okay, Schwoz, let me outta this tube!" Charlotte exclaimed once her idiotic employer and friend were out of earshot and on their way to ruin Henry's trust in them. And to possibly ruin (y/n)'s love for Ray, who knows? She didn't know how well the woman would take it and feared that accusing Henry like they were planning on doing would be the thing that finally made her iron resilience bend, maybe even break. She tolerated Ray's dumb moments so much, but not trusting Henry kinda meant he wasn't trusting her judgement and if she left, well, let's just say Captain Man would never be the same again.
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. You heard what Ray said about you and (y/n) and worms." Schwoz shook his head. Whilst he didn't care about the worms thing, he did care about Charlotte staying put and he was still contemplating passing on Ray's message, he just hadn't thought of the consequences for this entire thing.
"You better listen to me, Schwoz! 'Cause if you don't let me out of this—outta this—oh my—-I think I—-I think I—-ughhhhh." Charlotte fell against the glass limply as she clutched her chest and pretended to go into cardiac arrest or something. This was the cruel bit, tricking Schwoz into thinking she was dying, but if it got her out then she was gonna do it.
"Ayyyyyy! Charlotte, are you okay? Please, be okay! Charlotte!—" The genius fell for it, hook, line and sinker. he scrambled to lift the tube before sprinting over to the girl's side so he could support her "limp" body, but when he got to her, Charlotte's energy returned with a fury, kicking him in the groin so hard it made him collapse.
"That's for not letting me out of the tube!" She growled as she marched over to the supercomputer, not even caring if she'd crushed his hopes of having little Schwozs in the future. She just needed to call Henry.
"Could you please call me an ambulance?" He groaned, bending over to try and stop the pain, but his entire lower half was in agony and he feared for whatever was going on down there.
"No, 'cause I'm gonna get my phone, call Henry and tell him and (y/n) what Ray and Jasper are up to." The girl replied harshly, digging through her bag to see if she could locate her cell, but it was one of those moments where the one thing you need is nowhere in sight, which gave Schwoz the perfect opportunity to crawl to a drawer and pull out a can of worms, his comfort food. He couldn't be that injured if he wanted the worms.
"Where's my dumb phone? Hey, have you seen my—-Schwoz!" Charlotte yelled when she saw the man three seconds away from shovelling a fork piled high with long, brownish-black worms into his mouth and the sight repulsed her. "Ray told you not to eat the worms"
"You already bashed my pants, now just let me enjoy my worms!" He snapped back, having had quite enough of her sharp tongue for one day and turned his back on the girl so he could eat without any judgement. It didn't matter, Charlotte had more things to worry about, like where the hell she had put her phone. If it wasn't in her bag, then there was only one thing for it and she just prayed that Henry had his whiz watch on.
~Henry's porch~
"Do you know what Jasper wants?" (y/n) asked Henry as she shut his front door behind them. She was feeling a lot of mixed emotions; firstly, she hadn't had any of Ray's sappy texts for at least an hour, telling her that he was either up to something or too distracted to remember that she wasn't home, which wasn't a great feeling. Secondly, Jasper had phoned Henry out of the blue and had insisted that he go and meet him in some crappy diner because "he wanted to discuss something", whatever the hell that meant. And thirdly, Henry had actually f*cking agreed, despite not being anywhere near better. Sure, the soup was still settled in his tummy, but some grungy diner was no place to go, not when he could spew at any moment.
"He just said he wants to talk." The boy shrugged, making her feel a tad suspicious, but she shook it off. Yeah, Jasper knew Henry wasn't well, but perhaps it was really important and who wouldn't trust a face like that?
"Right, but if you feel like you're gonna puke at any moment, you're going straight back home." The woman told him sternly, which made him laugh. He could count on (y/n) to keep him safe, no bug or bacteria would beat her.
"All right, all right, I—-" Henry's laughter was cut off and they curiously looked at his whiz watch as it began to beep and flash. Hmmm, if there was an emergency, why wouldn't Ray call his girlfriend? Why would he want a sick sidekick to come and help?
"Hey, Char, what's up?" Henry greeted his friend as he casually flicked the watch open. Not the person he was expecting, but still, it was nice to see her after being cooped up for three days, although he wasn't going to like this.
"Bad things. Bad things are up!" She replied ominously, making (y/n) and Henry look at each other in worry. They'd only been gone for a bit, why was everything suddenly so dramatic and foreboding?
"Why? What's wrong?" The young woman asked, suddenly getting a nervous feeling in her gut. It was her danger-tingle, or it's what she called it, that sense in her tummy when something was going down and normally, it wasn't wrong. If something had happened to Ray or Jasper or Schwoz or her or Colin or the Man Cave or anyone she loved then she didn't know what she'd do, but...
"Ray didn't believe you were really sick and he thought you were making (y/n) look after you for fun, so he sent Schwoz to your house, dressed as an Italian Plumber so he could install cameras and microphones in your house!" Charlotte exclaimed, making the woman's dread morph into rage as she heard more and more about how ridiculously dim-witted her boyfriend had been. Just once, she wanted him to keep a level head and think about things rationally before he charged into something, but clearly, he thought she couldn't spot a liar herself.
"In my house?!" Henry gasped, looking completely horrified, mortified and furious at the revelation. He had been in bed, eating soup, what else did they think he was gonna do? He was sick! And a teenager, which felt a bit awkward since they had probably seen his bedroom, at all times, oh god.
"I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna f*cking kill him, the thick, stupid, idiot!" (y/n) growled with her hands on her head as she tried to keep it together. Ray didn't trust Henry to be responsible and therefore, he didn't trust her to take care of things herself, that felt horrific.
Trust is a big thing in relationships and usually, for them, it was a lack of trust in other people, who often didn't know how to leave a good thing alone so it couldn't be spoiled, but now, they weren't trusting each other, weren't believing that the other could get the job done solo. She didn't need to be supervised and sometimes, going out alone was nice. She'd enjoyed being the one in charge for a bit, had liked the change of scenery and whilst she had missed him terribly, it wasn't up to him to decide what jobs she could go and do and what she couldn't.
"And he's been spying on you all day, watching everything, including you eating a bowl of (y/n)'s brown soup." Charlotte went on, adding fuel to their anger as they realised that every single, intimate yet friendly moment they'd had together that day as carer and patient had been contaminated by prying eyes and ears, making the whole experience feel weird now.
"Wha—but that was my private brown soup time with (y/n)!" Henry spat, looking at the woman with a similar face of disgust. This was what irritated him about Ray sometimes; in his boss's eyes, he wasn't a boy on the verge of becoming an adult, responsible and honest, he was a child, notorious for not always doing the right thing and it sucked.
"And now, Ray's making Jasper wear a microphone so he can meet you at the Parkway Diner to try to trick you into admitting that you're not really sick and you "stole" (y/n) to turn her into your private soup lady!" The girl finished, barely being able to make out that Henry was biting his lip to stop himself from cursing loudly and (y/n) was just...livid.
"But he is sick! I know what sick looks like, why doesn't he trust me to make the right judgement? And Jasper's wearing a wire?" She asked, wrinkling her nose as she thought about the poor kid being dragged into her boyfriend's schemes. He was innocent in this, she was sure, just eager to help out, so she knew who the real culprit was. She loved him so damn much, but right now, it was hard to feel that whilst the anger was fresh and still stinging.
"Yeah! And Ray's gonna be at that diner, listening to every word you say." Charlotte told them, prompting an idea in Henry's mind. If ray wanted some dirt then he'd give him some. Something so damn filthy it would tell him that he knew what his game was and how he hated it.
"Oh...okay. Well, if Ray wants to listen to what we have to say to Jasper, then we're gonna make sure we say something goooood." He smirked, nudging the young woman next to him and she knew exactly what he meant. A little sabotage, a dash of deviance and a whole lot of lies, just to beat Ray at his own game. She liked it, time to see if he liked it when the tables were turned.
~Parkway Diner~
It was a classic setup. Rock music blaring, dirty booths that had been in place since the seventies, dim lighting, a bar that served root beer, alcohol and comfort food, this was the perfect all-American diner and the stage was ready for Ray's big showdown. Henry and (y/n) were a little nervous as they walked in the door, praying to God that Schwoz hadn't tipped the man off or the smell of beer and stale cigarettes wouldn't turn Henry's stomach. But it was all worth it, especially when they saw Ray in his stupid costume at the bar and Jasper acting all innocent in one of the booths.
He waved them over and the two walked straight past Ray, pretending like they hadn't noticed him, despite (y/n) being certain that she could pick him out of any crowd, and his disguise wasn't great. They smiled at Jasper, the woman helping Henry to sit down since she still felt like he shouldn't have been walking around but still. Keeping up appearances was a must.
"Hello, Jasper." (y/n) greeted the boy, sliding onto the same padded bench as Henry so they could keep their back to Ray and look straight into the boy's eyes. Everything had been rehearsed and calculated to sound shocking, heartbreaking and just a little bit over-the-top. The perfect lies that Ray was looking for.
"Hey, Henry, (y/n)," Jasper replied, acting as normal as he possibly could, but his palms were getting sweaty. He could bomb this and face Ray's wrath, but Henry definitely looked sickly and (y/n) looked...well, he didn't know how she looked. She had a twinkle in her eye that unnerved him, but he couldn't stop the mission now, not when Ray was watching and listening.
"What's up?" Henry asked, trying to look like he had no clue what was going on and he did his best to smother his anger and disappointment as he faced down his best friend.
"Ummmm...how are you feeling?" He stuttered, taking a prompt from Ray so he could keep the conversation flowing. It's not like he could come straight out with it, he couldn't just shout until Henry admitted it, it had to be divulged naturally.
"Uh, well..." Henry started, thinking for something he could say, but he didn't need to worry. Jasper's nerves were getting the better of him.
"You can tell me. We've been friends for...for so long." He chuckled nervously, making his friends look at him weirdly since it was such an odd thing to say. Of course, they knew why he was getting so squirmy and sweaty, Ray was figuratively breathing down his neck, but they couldn't let him onto that. "So?"
"So, even if you have a secret, I'm the perfect person for you to tell." Well, there went the subtly. It was a mistake to include Jasper, Ray was seeing that now. Missions require stealth and a sly attitude, neither of which the kid had; he said the word "secret", for god's sake, how much dumber and not secret-agentish could he get?
"Oh god, he's the worst..." Ray groaned to himself, lifting his glasses and pinching his eyes tiredly as he heard every word in his ear. This was excruciating to watch and he could see this whole thing going wrong, but it was so nice to see his girl sitting there, even in the dingy light, she was so damn pretty. He just wanted to stride over there and take her into his arms and kiss her like he had wanted to do for days, for the whole time he'd known her, to kiss her was the greatest privilege.
"Well, uh...great, 'cause...you know how I've been calling in sick to work and making (y/n) take care of me?" Henry whispered lowly, leaning forward with (y/n) so that they could get close to Jasper, who, along with Ray, was suddenly intrigued. Holy sh*t, were they onto something? "Yeah?"
"Well, he was faking! Isn't that funny?" The young woman giggled, laughing the lie off like it hadn't been anything serious, but to the eavesdropper, it was huge. He slammed his hand against the bar, jumping for joy at how he'd been right, but also, disappointed that he'd been let down. He couldn't help but feel like he'd been lied to by not only, Henry, but (y/n) too. Had she known and duped him?
"Why'd you tell Ray you were sick?" Jasper questioned. He too was disappointed in his best friend and the young woman, he thought they were more trustworthy than that, but also, he didn't know that they were capable of such deceit.
"You swear we can totally trust you?" Henry looked at Jasper with a deadly serious face, not even a hint of a smile as (y/n) too grew emotionless. This was where they got to have some fun and dragging it out just made it even better.
"Sure, I'd never betray my friends." Jasper nodded at both of them, trying to convey how sincere he was since he had to squeeze every last drop of juicy gossip from them for Ray. This thing was a lot more complex than he had first thought, but he was invested, like some kind of soap opera on the TV.
"Well, come here," Henry told Jasper and the boy shuffled as close to their faces as possible, practically bodysurfing the table as they all huddled in close so Henry could drop the biggest lie they could've thought of. "We're done being Ray's sidekicks."
"B-b-but why? You guys don't wanna fight crime anymore?" Jasper's mouth was on the table, his heart pounding in his ears as Ray felt his heart stop. Okay, this didn't feel right, what did they mean they didn't want to work with him anymore? Was it something he'd said?
"No, we do, but I mean, come on, Curly, we don't need Captain Man." (y/n) scoffed, ignoring how wrong it felt to say the words. She needed Ray in so many ways, from the way she'd never be able to fight bad guys with him protecting her to the way she'd felt loneliness for ten years before they finally fell into each other's arms and it was something she never wanted to experience again. The anger was so strong now, definitely still there, but fading away, leaving her more hurt than mad and being mean wasn't her style when she had her sensible self back in control.
"Ray's indestructible, you can't just get rid of Captain Man. And he's your boyfriend, (y/n), I thought you loved being with him?" Jasper stammered, seeing the coffee pour from Ray's lips as he heard every, heart-wrenching word and felt his world crumble around him.
No, no, not his sweet girl, this couldn't be happening. Thank god he was wearing dark sunglasses, 'cause otherwise, everyone would see his eyes clouding with tears, but he couldn't stop the hand that sat over his heart, trying to stop it from aching. He knew this would happen, he knew that she'd outgrow him and move on, but he hadn't counted on it hurting so much, not when he had been sure, certain, absolutely positive they were gonna live happily ever after. The ring would have to sit and gather dust, 'cause he'd never be able to marry someone else, not when he had known his true love in her.
"Well, see...we've been working secretly with Doctor Minyak," Henry revealed, making Ray bring his glasses down his nose so he could see the situation with his own eyes and he could see Henry looking smug, Jasper looking gobsmacked and her, still looking so f*cking beautiful and perfect, still calm, not showing the vulnerability she was feeling, still the one he wanted to marry, even if she wanted to leave. He'd never stop wanting her, not ever; he loved her, always.
"We've been developing this weapon that can melt Captain Man like the big doofus he is." (y/n) smirked, leaning back and folding her arms as she kept the lie going, although now that she said that, something didn't seem quite right. She still said doofus with such love and Ray stopped for a moment; could she...? Had they...? Wait...
"And check this out. Once Ray's out of the picture...come here. Come here...yeah, all the way." Henry told Jasper, bringing him in close again as he hung onto every word and Ray grew more and more sceptical with each passing second. His voice didn't sound uncaring either and although he was still terrified and hurt on the inside, he was trying to keep a brave face as he put down his stupid glasses and got to his feet. This f*ckery ended with him.
"I'm gonna take over and make you and (y/n) my sidekicks." Henry hissed, making Jasper erupt into happiness. That was his dream and was what they knew would make him join their side in a heartbeat, screw his loyalty to Ray, he wanted to be a superhero, no matter what.
"Oh, Ray's our friend, (y/n), he wants to—I mean, you love—-we can't just—" Jasper stuttered, trying to communicate how this would break Ray. In his gullible view, this was a betrayal and having the engagement snatched out from his fingertips would break the man, something he wanted to tell her without ruining the surprise or shocking her to the core.
"You're either with us or against us, Jasper." (y/n) responded cooly, ignorant to what he was referring to, which was a relief to her boyfriend, who had decided that he needed to step in any time now before the idiot spy he'd employed blew the best and biggest plan he'd ever come up with, one that everyone agreed on; it wasn't dumb, it wasn't ridiculous, it was perfect. Well, it would be if Jasper held his tongue.
"Ummmmm...okay, I'm in!!" He broke, agreeing wholeheartedly and he was so happy to have been considered for a role alongside Miss Danger, he didn't even notice Ray coming over to put the whole charade to an end.
"Really? You're in?" Henry asked, surprised at how easy his friend had given in, but it didn't matter. It was amusing to watch and in about five seconds, or four, or three, or two...it would be over.
"Whatever you guys need me to do, I'll do," Jasper replied, just as Ray started a long, slow, loud clap, drawing the attention of the three sat in the booth and some other diners who looked at him weirdly before returning to their drinks. The game was up.
"All right, Henry. How'd you and (y/n) know Jasper was wearing a wire?" He asked the boy in a low, dejected voice, looking from him to the gorgeous woman sitting on his left, watching his every move with a slightly shocked yet still loving gaze. She hadn't expected him to come over and was wondering how he'd taken it and judging by his red, puffy eyes, not very well.
"'Cause we're not idiots." Henry spat, his anger coming to the surface again as he remembered how they'd ended up in this situation because Ray didn't think he could be trusted to have a few days off work sick without it being a lie.
"Ray...I didn't know you also come to this restaurant." Jasper said in a faux-surprised, fake voice and boy, his acting skills needed work. He was as stiff as a board and the way he pretended that Ray hadn't been sitting at the bar the entire time was hilarious.
"Give it up, son," Ray told him, shaking his head as Henry and (y/n) stood up, facing him so they could grill him for everything he'd done. The man looked sheepish and a tad nervous, instinctively going to bring his girl into his arms, but he shrunk back when she stood still, preferring to feel just her own arms around her body for the time being as she checked how she felt. Numb, buzzing from the aftermath of rage, stinging from the pain of not being trusted and aching from how she'd clearly upset him and gone too deep. It had been a stupid idea, her actions being born from her not thinking for a moment.
"I can't believe you spied on us." Henry frowned at his boss, the man who had grown to be like a brother to him, the man who would be (y/n)'s husband if everything went well, had all they'd gone through meant nothing to him?
"Yeah, well, I wouldn't have had to do all of this if you hadn't lied to me about being sick for three days," Ray argued, acting like a wounded animal snarling back at those trying to attack him. He just wanted things to be okay again like they had been last week, but he couldn't see anything working other than him sticking to his guns, so he did.
"Ray, he wasn't lying. He had, like, this really bad cold or flu and I just wanted to make sure he was taking care of himself, why can't you see that? Since when do we not trust each other?" (y/n) groaned, her hands raking through her hair as she silently begged him to stop being so damn stubborn so they could talk this out. The stress wasn't good for the kid, he was getting paler and paler...
"Oh yeah, 'cause everyone with the flu loves to sit around eating big old, hunkin' bowls of chilli from my girlfriend. Yeah, I saw it." Ray spat back, digging the hole deeper for himself, although if he just put down the shovel, things would start getting much better. He didn't know why he was just arguing and arguing and arguing for arguing's sake, he just felt like shouting back, despite the pain it was causing to those who loved him most.
"That was brown soup." Henry frowned, wondering how wrong one person could be. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to leave him for a few days and let that dumb brain sit and think.
"Brown soup, okay." He scoffed, making the sidekicks sigh as he brushed off their explanation, but Jasper was still listening and was still coming to terms with the fact that he wasn't going to be a sidekick. "I knew it wasn't brown soup!"
"Look, just admit that you were never sick, you just wanted (y/n) to care for you for a few days. Apologise and we can forget this whole thing." Ray patronised them, (y/n) stepping in front of Henry as he started to feel a bit queasy again. Why couldn't he apologise for getting it wrong and hurting them? Why did they have to be the bad guys?
"For f*ck's sake, he was sick, he still is sick! God, I leave you for, like, what? Three days and everything goes to pot? It was three days." The young woman growled, taking a step forward as she responded to his aggression. It was a bit distressing to argue in public like an old married couple, but it seemed the patrons in the diner were used to a bit of shouting and just kept shining their glasses, leaving Ray to stare down at his incredibly hot girlfriend as she glared at him.
"Oh god, he's such a faker and you're just going along with it!" He grinned, winding her up even more as Henry tried to stop the bubbling nausea in his tummy. The brown soup was getting ready to make a reappearance, but the couple were too busy trying to be right that they didn't see his small frowns.
"A faker? Why would he fake this? And what do you mean I'm going along with it? Do I look gullible to you? I don't just let people walk all over me, Raymond, not Henry, not you, I know when people are f*cking lying to me." She hissed, getting close to his chest and tried not to let how f*cking good he smelled or how good he looked in a leather jacket affect her. She wanted to kiss and strangle, embrace and punch him all at the same time, furious at how he knew how to push her buttons and leave her wanting for more.
"'Cause he didn't want to come to work, 'cause he's a little punk and he's got no sense of responsibility and now look at us. We're arguing in the middle of a sh*tty diner 'cause he faked being sick and you fell for it!" He argued back, fuelled by how cute her anger-flushed cheeks were and how she looked like she wanted to kill him but never did. Everyone was looking at this point and Henry was feeling real bad, but they just wanted to win the argument, or spend hours cooling down before falling back into perfect love.
"You can call his dad, he'll tell you everything you want to know. And we're standing here arguing 'cause you insisted on coming here, looking like f*cking Grease Lightning, and you won't admit that you're wrong and you were jealous." (y/n)'s voice turned icily calm, making Ray laugh coldly as he heard her guess the truth.
Yeah, he had been jealous, envious that his girlfriend was spending her time with someone else, not in a wrong way, just knowing that she wasn't around, something that felt selfish, but he couldn't help but curse himself for. He didn't want to limit her, but he also wanted to be the only one who saw her smiles, heard her jokes, knew her the best.
"Pshh, sweet girl, I was not jealous. I just don't like to see you doing stuff for people who are taking advantage of you." He tried to sound sincere, tell her that she was correct and he just wanted the best for her but his stupid emotions stopped him from being what she deserved, but it came out all wrong. More like something he'd think back on later that night and kick himself for as he laid alone on cold sheets.
"Are you serious? Henry has not taken advantage of me. I chose to take care of him, Henry is—-Henry, holy sh*t, are you okay?" The young woman started making her point, looking back and forth from her boyfriend and the kid several times before she realised that he was groaning and bending over clutching his stomach. Oh god, she knew that he shouldn't have left his room.
"Oh, I don't feel good, think it's the soup." He mumbled, leaning on her body for support as she tried to get him to sit down or to a trash can, but Ray was in the way and just wouldn't stop talking.
"Oh, yeah, he's sick. Let me get the full performance, 'cause he's definitely not faking..." Ray mocked the kid, getting clever and imitating how his sidekick was in pain, much to the annoyance of his girl. He wasn't being very helpful and she just needed his stupid ass to move before...
"Oh, I'm not joking—" And puke all over Ray fetching, black t-shirt. Henry couldn't help it, his stomach just switched to being the boss and he projectiled all over his boss, who wasn't laughing now that he smelt and felt the sick splash down his front. Poor kid.
"Yeah, that's brown soup." He confessed as (y/n) rubbed Henry's back and guided him back to the booth. God, he felt tired and Jasper quickly assumed the role of temporary carer, pulling out his phone to call Mr Hart so he could come and retrieve his son whilst the young woman went to sort out her messy boyfriend. He didn't smell good now.
"Do you trust me now?" She asked her boyfriend coldly, blankly grabbing his hand and guiding him to a washroom in the corner of the restaurant. The diners had gone back to their drinks, not caring now that the argument was over and Ray stumbled after her as they entered the gross bathroom. It smelled and he was sure that this was the men's room, but no one said anything and he just followed her to the tiny sink where they could try to sponge him clean.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled, taking fistfuls of paper towels from the dispenser so they could try and wipe most of it off, and seeing how tentative she was being made him ashamed and remorseful. She was still taking care of him, even though he'd been a dick.
"And I'm sorry for upsetting you. It was a dumb idea, I still want to be your sidekick." She replied quietly, ignoring how gross and foul-smelling the task was, she just wanted to stop feeling horrible over how she'd picked on a weak point and made him cry, even if it was just a bit.
"S'okay. I did worse." He smiled, knowing that he kinda deserved it. He had been so wrapped up in desperately wanting to see her again that he hadn't looked at the bigger picture and noticed how he was being reckless and destructive of everything good he had going on for himself; a great sidekick, a great helper and a beautiful girlfriend who he wanted to marry.
"We both did bad. And now we're making up in a diner bathroom with our fingers covered in barf." (y/n) smiled, trying to break up the sad tension with a joke and it worked. Ray cracked a grin, looking at the situation with crinkled eyes as they scrubbed at the stain, trying to get it as good as they could before they sped home and chucked the clothes in a washing machine.
"We make quite a pair, sweet girl...and I love you." He smiled, chucking an icky paper towel into a trash can in the corner of the room, watching as she did the same and turned to wash her hands with a blushy smile on her pretty face.
"I love you too, doofus. And your leather jacket." She smirked, watching as he got what she was saying and looked at the garment. He'd practically forgotten he owned it and only wore it since she wouldn't recognise it as something he'd go for, but perhaps it would become something more popular if she liked it so much.
"Come here, sweet girl." He murmured and dragged her into a kiss, finally getting what they both wanted as she ignored her still-damp hands and clutched the lapels of her new favourite jacket. He looked cool and hot, even if he did smell a bit. She loved him regardless and couldn't wait to go home.
